week two you better believe it. Im a full blown missionary haha
It is crazy how much happens in a week at the MTC.
This week has been full of ups and downs. But I love it here. I love the MTC and feel so grateful that I made the decision to serve a mission. Im only beginning to see how much this will change my life. These past two weeks have already changed my life.
I love my zone and my district so much! my zone leaders are sooo funny. Elder Durfee is the funniest but odd person I know in a good way haha but I love him. Everyday he tells us an embarrassing story of his life at the MTC and it brings me and my roommates to tears everyday. A good one he told us the other day is that him and his companion usually wake up early to exercise so they are used to waking up to their own alarm. But on sunday, they didn't exercise so they were awoken by another Elder's alarm clock in the room. When the Alarm went off it scared Elder Durfee so bad that he jumped off (the other elders say fell off but to each his own ahha) the top bunk and started shouted FIRE FIRE FIRE hahhaha I can only imagine how funny that would have been.
I am constantly laughing and smiling here. Everyone always talks about how hard the MTC is and missions are. But everyone forgets to talk about how much FUN they are. I am constantly laughing with my roommates, my district, my zone, my teachers and it feel so good. being happy is so great. being a missionary is even BETTER
On Sunday we got to listen to a talk by Elder Bednar that he gave for missionaries titled Characteristics of Christ. I loved the video. In the video he talked about how Christ is opposite of the natural man, that when the natural man would turn in ward and be worried about himself, Christ turns outward and shows compassion and love to others. He told shocking stories of people he had met through his life that showed this attribute. It made me want to be better, to not be so worried about myself but others. He said that if you ever have a question in life on how to be more patient or loving or kind, to read a new copy of the B.O.M with that attribute in mind and eventually by the time your life is over, you could have a whole book case of B.O.M that answer all the questions to life. I love that. Book of mormon aka book of life
As much fun as the MTC is and how many hours I have spent laughing and smiling here, its no lie when they say a mission is hard. because it truly is. On monday, I faced that reality. Monday was probably the worst best day ahaha We taught an investigator at the MTC and it went horrible. I mean horrible. I wanted to cry. To top off the day, the MTC food does not do me well and I got sick. We were late to class by a few minutes and got a talking to by our teacher. He wasn't mean about it, just told us not to be late again. It still made me feel awful. Here I was a missionary who couldn't even teach a lesson but now couldn't even be on time to class. I Felt so inadequate to be on a mission. I just felt like I couldn't do it, that I couldn't teach right that, that the amount of information I needed to learn was above my reach. I was holding back tears as we sang the opening song. Brother shumway our teacher, saw I wasn't my usually self and asked me to come in the hallway so we could talk. I told him how I was feeling that I didn't think I could do it, that i couldn't be a missionary, I don't know how, I have too much to learn, I miss my family, my friends, Im just not cut out for this type of thing. My heart just hurt as I felt that I could NOT be a representative of God.
There are not adequate words I can describe how much I needed Brother Shumway in that moment and how grateful I am for him. Here I am crying my soul out in a classroom on the fifth floor with my teacher who can't be much older than me. He showed me some versus in 2 Nephi 17-22. It talks about how God is there for our advertises and our successes that he will never leave us. He drew me a diagram and said that its in the moments we feel we cant go on, the moments we feel that we are inadequate that we are on the verge of reaching our potential. on the verge of greatness. It is so easy to get discouraged here. But Brother Shumway is right, push on. press forward. After he left me he told me to cry unto the lord for a few minutes and control my emotions before I came back into class.
So that is what I did, I fell on my knees and cried unto the lord. I can't express what it feels to feel so afraid, so inadequate and to submit yourself to the lord. to fall on your knees and realize that the only way i could do this was through the Lord. As I uttered my thoughts, peace came over me. I felt encompassed by the Saviors and the Lord's love. When I walked back into the classroom Brother Shumway was showing the Because of Him video. In the video, there is a scene where a person falls on their knees at Christ's feet. I couldn't help to feel that was me 10 minutes earlier--Falling on my knees at the saviors feet. I like to think that. I like to think the savior was there and as I fell down on my knees, I knelt by his feet and he gave me strength.
This was such a humbling experience. I have never felt so discouraged so inadueqate so weak but through him I am strong. Christ cares about each of us so much. I have never felt so close to him than I did last Monday. God cares. Christ cares. specifically for me. specifically for us.
After that, the rest of the week was GREAT. Our lessons went good, we were on time. I have never felt more like I could be a missionary. that I can do this.
I can't believe how close I am getting to my roommates and my district. It is unreal. I can't believe I have to say bye to Sister Dawson when she goes to New York. I might cry haha I love her so much and I can't belive in a few days she will be across the United States. opposite coasts.
My companion is great. I can't believe how much I love her. And SHE ALWAYS MAKES ME LAUGH SO HARD. shes funny.
In our room, Sister Dawson and I were eating chips and queso when we spilled the queso all over me and because P-day wasnt til today we spent part of our night washing my pants in the sink haha people would look at us weird when they walked into the bathroom and we would say missionary problems, p day is on friday haha
I'm determined to beat the boys at Bump during gym time haha I always get 2nd or 3rd. I told my companion and roommates I need them to take one for the team and rebound for me so I can shut the boys down haha They tell you not to keep score or be competitive but winning is too great
I can't believe I have already been out for 2 weeks. The days are full of fun and I feel so close to my savior. I leave for CA bright and early (like 430am) on tuesday. WHOOOOO I am SOOO excited for warm weather.
I miss you all and send my love.
godspeed forever.
sister thurgood
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